10 Comments so far ↓

• Nathan // Jan 30, 2010 at 11:40 am

  Well, the one thing I’d always have loved to smash up is probably a pretty cliché one, but I’d just love to go all out and completely destroy a car. Just taking something with some good weight behind it, I don’t care if it’s a hammer, a baseball bat, a pipe, what have you, so long as it will do the damage. At first the chassis will just dent and bend. The windows and lights, on the other hand, will be less lucky. of course, when I keep going, I’ll be going after more than just that. after enough cracks at the hood, I’ll start getting at all the stuff in there. And I’m gonna keep hitting until stuff’s flying out. Now, once I’ve smashed up a door or something enough, I’m gonna want to smash up the inside of the car for good measure before it’s too destroyed to even get to. Something nice and sharp, like a utility knife or the like, would be good for tearing up the upholstery, ripping the seats to shreds, slicing the seatbelts. I’d try and dismantle some things such as seats and headrests by hand if possible and take them out of the car so I could smash them some more where there’s room to really wind up and swing, which would also clear out some room to whack things on the inside; I want to just nail that dashboard. Then, once I’m good and done with the inside, I’ll smash the things I’ve taken out and take some more good hits at the chassis and whatnot, being sure I give all sides of the car the attention they deserve, including climbing onto the trunk and going ballistic on the roof. Finally, just to destroy it in a way that my muscles aren’t quite capable of, I’d set it aflame to finish the job.

• Sam // Jan 31, 2010 at 4:11 am

  i’d like to smash my free temper trap poster and then burn it. Ps. who is this band?

• Tyler G. // Jan 31, 2010 at 12:05 pm

  When I was 15 I once smashed up an old paint shed by driving a pick-up truck into it (this was done purposely, my uncles idea). I hit a metal beam that poked thru the window about half a foot to my right. Good times.

• David Ortiz // Jan 31, 2010 at 6:45 pm

  I broke my mom’s old antique lamp worth 500$ with a sledge hammer because she didn’t make me a sandwich.

• Sarah // Jan 31, 2010 at 9:05 pm

  I actually have smashed a car. With a sledgehammer. It was a delight.

• Crystal Jean // Feb 1, 2010 at 1:06 pm

  I’d most definitely like to smash plates. Whole dining sets of dinner plates, salad plates, glasses, soup bowls, saucers… I’d love just to keep heaving them until I get tired.
  Not with food on them, just empty dishes.
  I work as a server at wedding receptions and have daydreamed so many times of throwing dinner plates across the decorated banquet hall like frisbees.
  Just to see the china shatter, and leave hundreds of thousands of pieces all over the table linens, centerpieces, and dark wood dance floor…
  One day!

• jolene // Feb 2, 2010 at 8:41 pm

  The best stress relief, best means of anger management that I have found in my years on this earth would have to be completely obliterating a kitchen table.

  Now, I’m not the type of person to just destroy objects without just cause or reason; and the kitchen table’s death was not needless or unjust. It was for the sake of an art project. But back to the subject.

  I started out with an axe. It seemed to be the most practical, short of a chainsaw or the brute force of karate chop action, and well.. the option of an axe was the mentally most gratifying.

  The table bounced in reply when the axe struck the beautiful, oak, finished surface. I had made the first of many dents, it seemed, as I am really not that strong and, admittedly, it was a bit of a struggle to even SWING the axe in the first place. But it was frustrating and physical, and I had a task to complete. And so I got to.

  Harder and harder, I hit the table with my weakling fury.. trying to imagine things that pissed me off: childproof bottles of aspirin, jury duty, the traumatizing and awkward nickname of “Nipples” won in 9th grade by a douche bag jock and a particularly cold, mid western day.. Never mind that I appeared to look like a maniac to passersby, or that the not rhythmic choppy sound combined with my questionable grunts of aggression surely woke the sweet slumber of babes (or, more realistically, made the sane reach for their respective cell phones to dial 911 emergency: warning, axe murderer starting with dining room furniture, lock up the sofa and the la-Z-boy.)

  Bits of oak would fly in the air as I chopped harder, faster (or what felt like to be) and the table gave a sagging collapse to the middle .. slowly. A leg gave way and when it did, I lowered my axe and started kicking it in. No longer disconnected from the carnage, I soon had wood chips in my hair and a severed limb in my hand.

  This table had to go.

  With only three points of contact now and a hard axe swinging downwards, the table hit the ground with a not-so-guttural thud. I was a woman possessed, beating the table to oblivion now – an insatiable hunger being filled to the teeth by the pile of jagged, sharp chunks of wood until it was no longer a table.

  Axe to the ground, wood shards in my hair, on my clothes, ACHING muscles and sweat on my brow… I stood in the table’s wake. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Destroyed entirely to only invoke the next, exhausting process. Artful reincarnation.

• Sam Marwaha // Feb 6, 2010 at 6:14 am

  Id love to smash an ipad on the ground infront of everyone in line to buy one on its release day.

• Jamboree Johnson // Feb 11, 2010 at 8:09 pm

  I got two:
  One smashed a copy machine after watching Office Space. Yeah. Office Space. Fantastic.
  I put that there in fear that some may not approve of the next one:
  so there are many a building where i live, quite a few “out of business.”
  yeah.
  i smashed a building.
  me and a few neighborhood rowdies decided to rally a group into inhabiting the place.
  as it turns out, it wasnt easy to get inside, but they had left around some items for our cause. wielding a fire extinguisher, we broke the window and tore down many a door and wall. all of the doors are now open and the windows are smashed to bits!
  if you don’t like my story, consider the first one!
  with love
  a good sumeritan

• Sophie Deutsch // Dec 9, 2011 at 7:24 pm

  your mom.